Monday, January 19, 2009

The Indian Working Woman

I have discovered in my 42years of interaction with men that there are basically 2 types of married men- the first kind will give permission to their wives to work outside the house and feel generous about it. The second kind will not give permission to their wives to work outside the house and make their wives feel that they are being generous about it. The bottom line is that the wife has to take permission from her pati-parmeshwar and deal with her husband's generosity all her life. In the case of the women working outside the house they first have to make sure they are bringing back home a respectable amount of money i.e. respectable by the husband's point of view.She then has to pamper her husband's ego at every moment by making him feel magnanimous for letting her work.She then has to make sure that she gives him no reason to complain on account of her stepping out of the house- meals to be ready on time, menus to pamper the pati's taste buds, standards of the house maintenance to be perfect, larder+ fridge to be stocked at all times, children to be taken care of, homeworks and projects to be tackled on time, relatives and in-laws to be visited and corresponded with regularly etc.. The list is endless. Slip on any one of those and she may have to give up her "time-pass" job. She has to be superwoman to pack in all that into a day and still be smiling at the end of the day with energy for a session in bed if the need arises.If she finds the load too much and asks for help with the household chores, the permission for that would again depend on a million factors like how much is she bringing home, would the standards of the house drop or would the cooking be the same etc etc..

Well if she belongs to the category who has not been given permission to work outside the house she still has to do all those things but she has to do something more. She has to forget the hard work she put in to get that Master's degree and that that degree was the reason her husband married her. A wife with a Master's degree would be able to teach his children in a better way!

Does this sound like an analysis of men of the dark ages? Just look around you into the eyes of the women around. What hurts do u think are hidden behind those lashes? What secrets are those lashes covering up? Sorry if i sound cynical but if you come across a husband who does not fall into these two categories, who seems genuinely happy with a working wife and is in fact very encouraging of her to progress in her job- well that couple is doing a huge cover-up job. And if that is not the case and no skeletons come tumbling out of the cupboard then i think that particular husband is a rare specimen. He should in fact do something for the larger cause of humanity- donate his sperm samples to a sperm bank so that we can have more of his kind in the coming generations. The womenfolk of the future would definitely be grateful for that. A collective "JAI HO" for that.


  1. Forceful argument into the classification of married men into the two types. However, I think with better education and economic independence, today's womenfolk won't like to settle into one of these two groups. The need to work together to ensure "survival of the fittest family" will come to the fore.

  2. Ya well that is the tragedy. With better education and economic independence the woman is rearing to go. She feels ready to touch the sky.But finally at the end of the day she does have to come back to her domestic responsibilities. Her "good package" will ensure that she can hire help to share her load but ultimately it is her responsibility to ensure the smooth running of her home.Sorry but the indian male has a lot of catching up to do to accept his "better educated and economically independent" spouse in totality.

  3. U r very much right in distinguishing the MAN but exceptional are always there..Like my father and my hubby..
    My mom is teacher and dad is a doctor, he always co-operate my mom in domestic chores from starting of day till night, whenever he feels himself free, b'coz he feels that its not fair if all the responsibilities will be fulfilled by woman...He never hesitate in helping my mom... And God blesses me such two men in my hubby is also like him, if he has free time ... u can see him with me in kitchen, helping me there, or any other room ...busy in doing room beautiful & tidy...